I have banned our first guest(s). I know it sounds very harsh but I can explain. His name is Sam.
First off – Sam comes and goes as he pleases without ever paying. He even has the nerve to invite friends over; have a big party; make a lot of noise; create a huge mess and damage; and then not even clean up. One afternoon, when Sam was being especially noisy, I decided to try to confront him. I grabbed my binoculars, ran downstairs, went out the side door, and looked up. I scanned and scanned. Aha – I saw his entry point, way high up in the rafters and then Boom!! he appeared and looked right at me, daring me from 3 stories up to come and get him. (I’m pretty sure he had a smirk on his face)
It was time to call in reinforcements. Enter Keith – our Terminix guy. “Leslie, I have good news and bad news” as he descended the ladder from our attic. “You have squirrels. (Really?), they have done a lot of damage, but we can help you”. The “we can help you” part was the good news, by the way. That afternoon, Ashton (the other Terminix guy) came and sealed up the entry point with a reverse door so any of Sam’s friends that were inside could get out but not get back in. No need for anyone to get hurt with this ban. Once Sam and all of his friends are out, his home will be destroyed and replaced with brand new insulation (that is also good news, I suppose).
I am not expecting a 5 star review from Sam. For all of you, please know that you will be treated much better. We will welcome you with great hospitality, a warm house, and great food. So – what are you waiting for, come and see us!